Whopper Mistake

It’s not often that you get arrested just because you placed an order at a drive-through Burger King. Mind you, that depends on what you order.

Shawn Porter, a 32-year-old chap from Deltona in Florida, USA, was with his friend at a local drive-through when he thought it would be really funny to order his meal, but also ask for a side order  of “blunt and some herbs,” which for all you readers who aren’t ‘down with the kids’ is slang for marijuana (alright, we had to google it to find out.)

Back to our intrepid ganja goons, who thought that this was the funniest thing ever, but didn’t realise that the cashier had detected an aromatic herbal smell emanating from the vehicle and made a note of the licence plate number.

Potty Porter and his pal arrived home, clutching their Burger King bags, only to find a deputy waiting for them, who poked his head into the vehicle. When the officer removed his head from the vehicle, he was not only stoned, but had located 28 grams of marijuana.

Porter was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance.

 

Snake Protest

What do you do if you are sick and tired of having to pay corrupt officials, just to get documents that you have every right to possess. Well, the demand for bribes from tax officials drove a couple of local farmers from a small village in northern India to take their own action.

They released 40 poisonous snakes into the tax office… obviously trying to spot the snakes amongst the other poisonous, slithering low-lifes that work in these places must have been difficult, and one would imagine that quite a few tax collection officials were battered about the head by mistake whilst the animals were being rounded up.

Getting back to the real issue here, which is the endemic corruption that exists in India and these extremely poor farmers just did not have any more money for bribes to enable then to get their village tax documents.

Police say that they are now trying to locate the two farmers responsible for the protest, which has received huge support across India, and have named them as Hukkul Khan and Ramkul Ram. Khan is the chap who the snakes probably belonged to as he is know locally as a snake charmer.

Let’s hope none of the snakes bit any tax officials, as it would be sad to see a poor animal poisoned.

 

Gun Dog

A 46-year-old man from Birgham City, Utah in the USA was shot by his own dog whilst out hunting.

Police say the hunter was putting out duck decoys and had left his shotgun leaning on the bow of his boat and unfortunately his dog stepped on the weapon causing it to discharge, hitting the hunter in the buttocks.

The story was explained by Box Elder County Sheriff’s Chief Deputy Kevin Potter who also said that the man was taken to Brigham City Community Hospital, where the birdshot was removed from the said buttocks.

However, we at the Gazette believe that the dog, driven mad by the constant orders, running and fetching, saw his master bent over the decoys and the gun pointing directly at his buttocks and took his chance.