Give The Woman Some Bacon!

Monday, April 27, 2015
By David Darby

US woman Shaneka Monique Torres has been given seven years in jail because she was so enraged at not getting any bacon on her cheeseburger from a McDonalds drive-through in Michigan that she fired a gun through the window. Mind you, she has a point, they failed to give her bacon twice!

She was convicted in March for carrying a concealed weapon, discharging a firearm into a building and felony use of a firearm; so say local media sources.

So, what happened? Well, the very hungry Ms. Torres went to the drive-through on February 10th last year with a friend and, as you do, they ordered bacon cheeseburgers. However,when the meal was handed over, the burgers were bacon-less! One of the managers apologized and offered the offended Torres a free meal.

Later that day, she returned and once again ordered a bacon cheeseburger, but once again, there was no cheese! Well, what’s a lady to do? Ms. Torres, being American, did what any decent American would do, she drew her weapon and shot the restaurant whilst screaming.

Nobody was hurt, and apart from a smattering of broken glass about the place, you would never know she’d paid a visit. She was arrest about a mile away within half an hour of the gunshot.

Her lawyer tried argue that the discharge of the firearm was an accident, but I guess the witness statements saying she was crouched down, handgun held Clint Eastwood style and screaming “you useless f*&%=rs” was a bit of a giveaway.

She has been ordered to serve at least three years before becoming eligible for parole.

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