Woman Found Guilty of Biting Policeman

A judge in Motril has found a woman from La Herradura guilty of biting a Guardia Civil policeman… – not recommended.

This incident of Green-Meanie nibbling took place in a bar in the village, where the woman was participating in a heated argument.

It was one typically idyllic day in this coastal village; the 28th of October 2011, to be precise, and the clock had just ticked over onto 13,45, which is always a good time for a quick nibble; a tapa, a packet of crisps or a policeman’s arm…

A row involving the incisive woman and some other (unfortunate) person was reaching a decibel-laden climax, so the Guardia Civil were called. In no time two of them arrived. Foolishly, one of them asked her for her ID card – I mean, would you ask your wife where her passport was in the middle of a weekly row? No, of course not… you would say, “Yes Darling,” or better still, just keep your mouth shut and wait for it to blow over.

Anyway, this policeman must have been a rookie because no sooner had those terrible words been uttered, causing a collective gasp to wash around the room, than the policeman found himself shoved across the room and being threatened with a length of irrigation pipe. Don’t ask us what it was doing in the bar – nearby irrigation and who owns it probably had something to do with the row in the first place.

Plucking up courage the two police officers wrestled the howling creature into their patrol car – no mean feat – but not before one of them had prized his hand out of her mouth. I don’t know about you guys, but I can envisage gauged paintwork, lacerated seats and enough hurled profanity to stop a panzer division in its tracks.

Anyway, fast forward to the Motril law courts and the sentence, which was a 90-euro fine, 60 euros in compensation for the semi-digested policeman and her being ordered to pay the court costs.

The moral of the story? Don’t volunteer for the Guardia Civil and certainly don’t enter into a bar with a hint or irrigation tube in sight.

(News: Herradura, Costa Tropical, Granada, Andalucia)