OK, we all know that the Northern Europeans and North Americans make horrible coffee, and if you want decent coffee, you have to go to Spain or Italy, but there is one place in Spain where the coffee tastes like piss… mainly because somebody put urine in it.

The Registro de Propiedad de Guadix (Guadix Land Registry Office) made a formal complaint before the Guardia Civil because some cad had pissed in their coffee machine – is nothing sacred? At first they just suspected that it tasted, how can we put it… not top notch, so after agreeing that it had a suspicious quality to it, they send off a sample to a private laboratory and lo! Somebody had emptied their bladder in the coffee machine!

Well, after they cleaned up the mass vomit around the Land Registry office, they denounced the heinous act before the Guardia Civil, but in the meantime, distrust amongst the staff was rife and tension reigned.

The police meanwhile, have cordoned off the coffee machine; not that anybody fancied using it mind, other than as a urinal, obviously. Mind you, the police will have a tough job finding the culprit, because you have to have a criminal record to have a registered DNA sample in their archives and the Land Registry is not the sort of place where an ex convict can expect to find employment, is it?

If they ever do find the fiend, mind, he… or she, can expect a prison sentence.

(News: Altiplano, Guadix, Granada, Andalucia)