We're not talk about the anguish generated when doing your tax return but rather the candle wax on all the streets along the coast.

The thing is, you see, that our Town Halls are responsible for making sure their streets are safe to use. If, for example, there is a small oil spill from an accident in town, then out come the fire service, down goes buckets of sand and hey presto! The mayor has done his or her job in keeping the town safe.

So, Ladies and Sofa Louts, why do Town Halls not prevent Semana Santa brotherhoods, who rumble out their displays of idolatry each Easter, from using bog-standard candles in their processions?

Did we not phase out incandescent lightbulbs in favour of led lighting in the name of progress?

Are we not in the 21st Century when one can reasonably expect that the necessity of rubbing two sticks together to produce light to be ‘unnecessary’?

In short, why oh why do Town Halls not impose artificial, led-lit candles upon such displays of devotion? Will a miffed deity smote us with a plague of locusts, boils and broccoli, if real candles are not in use?

No, Town Halls look the other way whilst columns of questionably dressed people cover the streets in wax, making it a “see-you-in-hospital” inevitability for anybody on two wheels. In other words, Town Halls give the a green light to a horde of swaying, wax layers to make transit along our streets a perilous affair… and then use our taxes to make a stab at clearing it off the streets and pavements.

Oh yes, they put up signs saying “Beware, Wax” to cover their posteriors in the event of being sued but that will not prevent accidental falls, broken bones and shattered teeth, will it?

So, Ladies and Toilet-Seat Ignorers, I ask you, would taking a lit candle with you and dripping it all over the floor of your local Town Hall be unreasonable, if you chant, “Behold and Beware, Wax!” as a precaution?

(Editorial: Poster Easter Wax)