Any sane man would not like the Granada firemen – or any other firemen – operating an electrical cutting tool next to his penis, but in this particular case, the man in question was immensely relieved to receive this ‘attention.’

This 52-year-old chap had managed to introduce his penis into a piece of metal tubing, 8cm in length and only 2cm in diameter. Why he should want to do that has most of the province speculating, but the end result was that his strangled organ swelled up so much that he was unable to extract it – no surprises there!

So, after suffering a strangled erection for twelve hours, he just happened to mention it to the medical staff at the Emergency department of the Hospital Ruiz de Alda at two in the morning. The doctors took one look at it, rolled around the floor in mirth (at least, in their minds) and decided that the metal tubing had to be removed, with no guarantee that the abused virile member would come out unscathed from the process.

It was at this point that the fire service received a surprising telephone request from the hospital, asking them to pop round with a small metal-cutting tool, because they only had tool-cutting tools.

The sergeant who headed the fire team admitted that in his 20 years of service he had never been called out for such a reason – no doubt, being a burly firemen, he had received invitations to handle other men’s ‘tools,’ but this obviously was not the same.

Anyway, two hours later the piping had been delicately – very delicately – sawn through with a specialised, mini, disc cutter. Is this a part of the Granada, fire-department’s tool kit? No it is not, but it just so happens that the sergeant is a keen bricolage enthusiast and had such a specialised tool at home. God knows how his wife reacted when he explained what he needed it for, but let’s not get distracted by that domestic scenario.

The main problem, apart from possibly slipping and performing an unintentional amputation, was that the friction generates a lot of heat – he used up four discs for the operation, by the way – so the pauses were frequent to let the metal tube cool down, which is why it took nearly two hours.

Hospital staff in general, more so than firemen, are used to people coming in with strange object inserted in delicate places and in one case they had to deal with a women and a dog that were unsuitably attached to each other… but that’s a different story.

(News: Metropolitan Granada, Andalucia)