ID Idiot
When you are next making yourself a fake ID, here are just a couple of pointers; number one, make sure you use a photo of yourself or someone who looks very much like you and number two, don’t use a photo of a person who might be recognized… like Jack Nicholson for example.
In an act of complete criminal stupidity, Ricardo Sergio Freire de Barros, tried to open a bank account in the town of Recife in Brazil. When asked for ID to open the account, Brainless Barros handed over a photo ID card with a picture of the Oscar-winning actor and provided the bank employee with the name Joao Pedro dos Santos. Of course, if ring-piece Ricardo bore even the slightest resemblance to the said actor, it wouldn’t be quite so ridiculous… but no, not even to a one-eyed man, squinting through his good eye, could he ever be mistaken for Mr. Nicholson.
Having said all this, one can only assume that the Brazilian police and bank staff in that area of Brazil are none too sharp either, as upon his arrest Barros was found to have six different ID cards along with a number of cheque books and credit cards, all obtained with his false ID’s.
Barros is currently residing in custody awaiting trial on charges of the use of false documents and falsifying a public document. Meanwhile, Jack Nicholson was unavailable for comment despite several telephone calls and a stern warning to his secretary that the Gazette may well not review his next film.
Animal Accessories
How many times has the start of a World Section article started with something about the following being one of the weirdest stories we’ve ever covered? Well, this one is weird, but also just a little bit disturbing, even for a big, brave boy like me.
We give you Reid Peppard, who has a fashion accessory business with a difference… everything is made from road-kill. Seriously, she wanders around picking up dead rodents and turns them into ‘wearable’ accessories. There are those who find this recycling of little dead animals just a little too much, and you can see why.
Before turning into a complete nuttier, Peppered was studying fine arts at Central Saint Martins College of Art and Design in London. It was whilst studying that she became interested in taxidermy.
Equally mad, but very talented, Lady Gaga wore one of Peppard’s pieces in a music video and they sell for between 120 and 2,300 euros a piece, so your dead-rat purse or pigeon-wing necklace don’t come cheap!
Anyway, we ummed and arred about whether we should print a picture, and decided to go with it, there are other examples online if you are so inclined.
Whereas the general line of thought in the Gazette camp is that the lady is completely barking, it should be pointed out that she is in fact a vegetarian and never kills animals, only using road-kill or vermin control kills for her projects. (In Vietnam, some soldiers wore severed-ear necklaces, completely unaware of the avant-garde undertones – Born to Road-Kill – MM)