Who will be the next Prime Minister of Spain? Well, one thing we can guarantee, he will have a grey beard… just in time for Christmas. PP candidate Mariano Rajoy is the man most likely to win and for those of you have trouble telling him apart from the leader of the other party, the PSOE, Alfredo Perez Rubalcaba, here is the easy way to remember:
Rajoy has dyed hair on top and a grey beard, so the top of his head is 35 years old, while his chin is at least 72 years old.
Rubalcaba is completely bald with a grey beard and therefore looks like his head is on upside-down.
Winner = Painted Roof. Loser = Mr. Potato Head.
It was so much simpler when you only had to think of Mr. Bean and you immediately had an image of the Spanish Prime Minister.
Just how many gay politicians are there in the UK? Crispin Blunt came out last year, which frankly came as no surprise to anyone… except his wife. She was reportedly ‘traumatized’ by finding out that her husband batted for the opposite team. Personally I find that very hard to believe… after 20 years of marriage she really didn’t know? Let’s face it, after the first year of biting a pillow and having the name ‘Frank’ whispered in her ear, one would have thought she might have caught on.
According to a BBC documentary, up to 300,000 babies were stolen from less fortunate families and sold to affluent ones in Spain. The practice started during the Franco regime and it is believed to have continued into the 1990’s.
Investigations are now underway to try and locate the stolen babies… has anyone even thought to check Madonna’s house?
In Almuñécar Benny is out and Trinidad Herrera is in, I guess we’ll have to call her ‘Trini.’ For those of you who haven’t seen her yet… just imagine the love-child of Princess Anne and Alfred Hitchcock.
The Seaside Gazette goes all colour! Latest reports are of two middle aged overweight men being dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century.
Paco from the tiny Spanish hamlet of Verga Larga has finally found love, which is very difficult in a village of just 27 houses, 2 farms and just three surnames. His new love Rosa is barely related to him, but still his father is not happy with the match. All because the poor girl is a virgin… he explained to Paco, “If she ain’t good enough for her own family, she ain’t good enough for mine!”
As we head into November, it looks almost certain that ‘Painted Roof’ will be voted in as Prime Minister on the back of empty promises to sort out the economy overnight… Of course, I’m just a badly educated stand-up comedian, but I reckon if there was a magic button that could be pressed to sort out this mess, I think they would have pressed it in Greece, Ireland or Portugal by now. So, whether it’s ‘Potato Head’ or ‘Painted Roof’ please don’t get your hopes up too much. One thing I can still guarantee is that the next one will have a beard… and you can always trust a man with a beard… The Yorkshire Ripper, Dr. Harold Shipman…