… When the vans used by the riot police can’t go faster than 90, have unserviceable seatbelts and u/s air-con – is nothing sacred? The police unions have been gnashing their collective teeth in anguish because, they point out, their ‘crowd-chewing meanie’ transport could never pass an ITV inspection.

“To give you an idea, this summer, the occupants of the vans had to have the side doors slid back to let some air in, which although was blasting hot air, gave at least some relief,” complained the union spokesman. You could even feel sorry for the truncheon-wielding sweaties, couldn’t you? No? Perhaps not.

The Granada-based riot police, you see, got their vans second hand from the Canary Islands, where they had been parked up for months without any maintenance work.