The Murdering Mallard

They say, don't count your chickens before they hatch, but you can also add, don't count on your ducks to take kindly to new neighbours.

AND Murdering Mallad 03Anyway, so there was the Town Hall off Vélez-Málaga suitably armed with four new ducks for its park pond, to join the existing male mallard.

However, when they popped in to see how the happy five were doing the next day, it was to find the original duck the right way up and the four newcomers upside down and with only one heartbeat amongst the five.

They first thought that a predator had made its way into the duck enclosure but their suspicion soon fell upon the original duck that had an air about it that could make hotel-janitor Jack Nicholson look inoffensive.

The Mayor decided to add a duck or two more and have the pond staked out, goaded on by the opposition party’s accusations that they were not doing very well at duck-keeping.

The municipal, pond spy reported back that the mean mallard had been chasing the only surviving female duck around the pond with less than amorous intent. There was something definitely menacing about its behaviour – it could have been the axe it was wielding but readers should not jump to hasty conclusions.

So, the Councillor for the Parks and Gardens, Marcelino Méndez Trelles, ordered that Dangerous Donald (no, not the orange, comb-over one) should be isolated from the other ducks for their own safety.

Since then, two wild mallards have flown in and taken up residence on the pond – what, no PCRs? There are also two geese now cruising the waters of the said park so everybody is waiting to see what Jack the Dipper will do about it…

(News: Velez-Malaga, Axarquia, Costa del Sol, Malaga, Andalucia)

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