Midsummer is something very Danish. And very wet. I suppose it’s midsummer all over the world, but since we were Vikings, we seem to have taken everything into property.
It’s ours. Very Danish. And so we turned midsummer a little more Danish and made it wet. In the last 30 years it has been raining 22 times on midsummer’s eve. That’s Danish midsummer. So, after an unusually hot early summer, when a ban on bonfires was announced, we were all very excited, sitting on our hands waiting for midsummer’s eve. Of course it rained, but just a little this time. 23 out of 31.
Another thing that the Danes find very Danish is the Nissehue. The sort of silly hat that gnomes are supposed to wear. Our Nordic neighbours call it a ski cap and don’t find it silly. We call it a Nissehue. I don’t know what the Portuguese call it, but they think it’s very Portuguese. They use it for bull fighting.
In Portugal they don’t kill the bull, they just tease it a bit. The final highlight being the forcados, the strong men, who stand in line receiving the final attack from the bull before it is sent home to the green green grass of home.
Now, what’s that got to do with anything? Well, the forcados wear nissehues. And they don’t find it silly. Actually one of the forcados has just been appointed to be bodyguard for the footballer Cristiano Ronaldo. The leader of the Chamusca forcados, very strong men indeed, Nuno Marecos, will see to it, that no harm comes to the conceited football player. Wearing a Nissehue. Should scare anyone from trying to steal Ronaldo’s six-pack.
We should try scaring off the wolves that have invaded our little nation, the wart on Europe’s nose, from Germany. Instead we have opened a Wolf Hotline, to give information about the canine-teethed beasts, if you should need it.
I prefer Nissehue. Very scary.
Men can be pretty scary too. The “Me too” movement has revealed this. Even a Spanish ex-royalty has found out about macho danger. A man. The king’s brother-in-law, Inaki Urdangarin, has finally been sentenced to prison to 5 years and 10 months for massive fraud. He has had the privilege af choosing his place of serving time. He chose a woman’s prison in Brieva, Avila province, where there’s not a single bar to tempt a thirsty man, nor a single church to tempt a paedofile, just a woman’s prison, where he’ll be the only man. He’ll feel safe. Wearing a Nissehue.
(Feature/Danish: Jes Rasmussen)