Off to British Columbia in Canada now and the tale of a man who recently had what must have been one of the worst days of his life.

First of all, the man got rather drunk, which is not such a bad thing, but he managed to set the grass he was sitting on and himself alight, also putting nearby mobile homes at risk. Neighbours saw the man speeding away, somewhat wonkily and still smoking, on a pedal cycle.

As the police and fire service arrived to deal with the fire, the police radio squawked into life saying that a man had been hit by a freight train nearby… guess who?

The man is in hospital, after suffering serious burns and a very nasty gash to his head caused by the freight train, which, it turns out, was only marginally more dense than our hero.

Oh, by the way, just to make sure that the day was rounded off very nicely, it turns out that the bike was stolen and our headbutt-a-train hero is also wanted for assaulting a bus driver.

Burnt, bashed and ultimately behind bars.

(News: British Columbia, Canada)