No, this article is not about giving up smoking, but rather a highway robbery. Yes, we know that the price of cigarettes is outright highway robbery, but we mean a robbery carried out on lorry carrying tobacco.

The lorry, carrying 88,000 packets of fags, with a value of 220,000 euros, had left the depot and still hadn’t reached the motorway when a BMW overtook and braked in front of it. Before you say, “Bastard BMW’s” four hooded men had jumped out and ran towards the cab. The driver, suspecting that they didn’t want to pass the time of day discussing football scores, put the rig into reverse but the next thing he knew the side window had disintegrated and a gentleman’s head appeared and explained how painful broken bones could be, especially with somebody jumping up and down on them.

The driver and his mate were turfed out and the lorry sped off, followed by a gloating BMW. The driver phoned the depot, who in turn phoned the police and all possible escape routes from the city were staked out. Nevertheless, the lorry wasn’t found, which is just a tad surprising as they do tend to stick out somewhat, don’t they.

The police eventually found the lorry, which had been abandoned on a trading estate, with 177 of the 180 boxes missing – they had only left the pipe tobacco behind.