At my 11-year-old son’s birthday party this weekend, I had a conversation with a couple of mums about age; our own personal definitions of being old and more to the point, whether we are old! The general consensus was, keeping your weight down and remaining fit and active are the main ingredients for keeping the years off.
It started because I woke a week ago concerned about the fact that I had been out of the UK work force now for six years. If we were ever to return, would I be employable? If I were to wait another six years before deciding what to do with my career, I would be a woman who is fast approaching 50 with only one line of employment available to me…. a doctor’s receptionist!
When I was 20, I would have been able to state quite clearly that once you reach the age of 40, you are categorically old. When I actually reached 40, I didn’t think that at all and just decided I felt comfortable in my skin and with the person I was. I then knew that you become old at the age of 60 because as we all know now 60 is the new 40! I am sure by the time I reach 60, it will be a different story.
I’ve always said that I wanted to grow old gracefully, however nowadays that seems to include a face full of Botox and various cosmetic surgeries each year. I have seen women ten years older than me, buzzing around town with their long hair, skinny jeans and high-heeled boots and I think some look great, but some don’t. I always believed I would know when my time was up and when to lose the high fashion shoes and get my hair cut to a sensible shoulder length. But do I? Have I passed that point already? Are there 30 something’s out there cringing at me, as I walk by?
Having said that, I only know one female who doesn’t die or colour her hair. And she does look amazing, but she isn’t the norm. There are not many grey-haired mothers or even grandmothers left and the blue rinse brigade has certainly disappeared. The one thing I have learnt is to grow old gracefully from the inside out. Do whatever you want on the outside, if it makes you happy, but don’t ignore the inside. Your warmth, kindness and confidence on the inside will always be reflected on the outside, with an attractive glow that can’t be found in any beauty product. Be proud of where you’ve been and look forward with enthusiasm to where you are going.
According to my Dad, you should live life to the full and smile, but do watch out for the tell tale signs of ageing. He says it starts by being proud of your lawn mower, groaning when you sit down or when it takes two attempts to get off the settee. You have arrived when you can live without sex, but not your glasses and finally you know you’re old when you know all the answers but no one asks you the questions any more. However according to the 11-year olds at my son’s birthday party, if you are bald and fat, you are old!
So remember age is just an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.