Santa, The Terrier & The Hostage

ftr-danish-jesI’m not addicted to heroine. But I am, in some ways, addicted to heroines. You know, with an ‘s;’ female heroes. Addicted to female anything actually; females are fantastic, and Santa Claus should have been a woman, as his title Santa, instead of San or Santo suggests.

Well, Christmas wasn’t so terrible after all, quite nice, actually, but about a third of what Santa brought the Danes waiting around the tree last Christmas went back to the shops.

The Danes changed Xmas presents in the shops at an amount of 250 million Kroner. Half a billion. And there’s only little more than five million of us.

Either we don’t know how to give and take in the true spirit of Christmas or we just go crazy, or berserk, as the Vikings called it, waving our plastic cards instead of swords and buying still more expensive presents, which people don’t want; they want to change them into other expensive presents.

Or both; not knowing how to give and take or going berserk. Maybe Santa should just have had a sex operation long-long ago, Santa should have been a woman. There now, I said it. Don’t shoot me, please, I’m only the columnist.

Addicted to them, I admit, like a bird on a wire that has to come back again and again, but let’s stick to heroines for now. One of my heroines is Margrethe Vestager, the Danish EU-commissar for free competition related to Europe.

This beautiful and competent woman is a veritable terrier, a lioness. She was not afraid to bite the heals of multinational non-tax-paying giants like Google and McDonald’s instead of just barking at them, and recently she made another attack: She fined three of the world’s biggest banks 3,6 billion Kroner for secretly, reciprocally and in cartels adjusting their interests, in their own interest and against the customers.’

Who’s next, Margrethe? There’s enough dirt to dig in out there before the next bank crisis comes. “Don’t bully the banks. Embrace them” was one of the first messages from the new minister of commerce, Brian Mikkelsen. Me, I say start bullying Brian. Don’t embrace him.

Margrethe Vestbjerg’s predecessor in the EU-commissariat was a true Santa Claus, laying the table for any big company with free food and drink and lots of presents under the tree.

Another heroine of mine – besides Patti Smith for singing Dylan (por fin, a male hero) at the Nobel Prize awards in Stockholm, forgetting beautifully some of the lyrics; besides my wife and the Danish queen – is Thyra Frank, the new minister for old people in Denmark in the new three-party government that was formed in late November.

She had to take a few ear-figs early in her ministerial career, yes, she’s inexperienced in the political game, and yes, she has been taken hostage by the government.

She was an extremely popular leader of a nursing home, simply because she cared, she nursed, and she didn’t give tuppence for reports and statistics. She was just there for the weaker, for the needing.

Then she went into politics and soon she will probably feel the chains of hostagehood, as the rest of the government is not going to economically upgrade dignity in life and death for the elderly, they just want the façade, a popular face inspiring trust. Still, I trust this heroine until otherwise proven.

Me, I don’t want too many expensive presents next Christmas, nor do I want to go to the shops to swap them in for other expensive presents. Knowing that another Christmas and another New Year is lurking around the corner, I would much rather go to the shops shopping for another Santa Claus for next year.

Why not Thyra Frank? She has this mild look, and her presents are not all that expensive, the minister of finance will see to that. And so what if Santa doesn’t have a long white beard?

(News/Features: Danish Column)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *