Marxism, Merkelism, Papandreouism

I heard of somebody asking why I put Germany down in an English magazine. But would the English like to hear me praising Germany all the time?

I knew from the beginning that some people would find the column controversial, the truth is I would love to share the column with somebody because diversity is always good. Don’t worry; I don’t intend to ridicule Germany but only hopelessly misbehaving politicians. They don’t really need me to ridicule them; they do a pretty good job themselves.

But after a dull month searching for a ridiculously behaving person, the first prize goes to… Angela Merkel (and Nicolas Sarkozy). I am pretty sure this pair’s new philosophy goes down in history in second place, just behind Karl Marx and Friedrich Engel. The third place will be occupied by Georgios Papandreou.

Germany is talking relentlessly about the Greek rescue since it all began a year ago and so far I managed to keep my mouth shut because it is not only a German issue and above all, a most serious one.

Merkel, not only demonstrated that she still has the same firm grasp and grip over this issue as at day zero (that was when she alone was against a Greek rescue, then against a temporary rescue umbrella and then against a permanent one) but she has now analyzed the whole situation: born in Eastern Germany she came together with the son of a Hungarian refugee to the conclusion: there is a synthesis of all ideologies, and this is best being demonstrated in the birthplace of modern democracy (mind you quite ancient yet).

Merkel and Sarkozy announced to the public that the private investors could voluntarily participate in the Greek rescue. This means investors are welcome, if they voluntarily waiver their profits, and if they don’t, they are equally welcome. This is very inclusive, unlike this confrontational class-struggle-like comments from our sound Finance Minister, who insisted up to the day of this announcement that the private investors have to pay a share.  It is so harmonious that at least the German banks seem to be happy to participate in the new Merkelism and want to talk with her: ‘about conditions!’ I think this means they want to be less selfish. Or more? Greek bonds recently sold for an interest rate of 26%!

Inclusiveness and harmony is what the Greek want as well. They don’t want to demonstrate all the time, for that reason their prime minister has invented the Papandreouism: he postulates, if one wants to pay taxes, one can do so, but if one doesn’t he won’t mind either, unless we talk about the average citizen.

As 12b euros will soon be due to be paid, I thought it would be harmonic to exhibit the billions in the rooms of the Acropolis before they go to the creditors. Thus the Greek could appreciate our efforts more, filing along the coffers and the tourism industry would thrive; after all you don’t even see that much money in Las Vegas. And the paper tissue vendors would do the business of their lives, some tears being spent and many tissues being waved at our harmonic triumvirate collecting what the investors have left over.

I don’t envy anybody who has to deal with the ongoing financial crisis, but Mrs Merkel please don’t offer any more muddles and talk with your Finance Minister, before you talk to Nicolas Sarkozy and the media. After all, this would be inclusiveness and harmony within the German Government for a change.

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