Don’t let the title fool you, there’s no poo on Pozuelo Beach, Almuñecar… allegedly.

So, what’s it all about Alfie? Do you remember the recent rain, where we all raised our hands to the heavens and gave thanks for the much-needed water? Well, 48 hours after the said rains, traces of Escherichia Coli and intestinal Enterococci were detected in the water, forcing the closure of the beach, presumably after reports of a few unsightly ‘chocolate logs’ floating past worried looking bathers.

Apparently, the amount and force of the storm allowed rainwater to enter the sewage system, pick up a few hitchhikers and drop them off for a quick swim alongside locals and tourists alike.

However, it’s all ok now, tests have been done by the Junta and the Town Hall which have determined that all contaminant levels are acceptable.

So, the beach was reopened within seven days of the closure: “After receiving the closure order, we at the Town Hall did tests of our own and found no contaminants. However, we had to wait for the Junta’s results before we could re-open the beach” said the councillor for everything salty and sandy, Lucía González.

To test the water, so to speak, and to prove to readers that all is well, I donned by diamante thong, greased up my ‘manboobs’ and took a dip myself. I am now sporting a perfectly formed female breast under my left armpit and an extra ear in the centre of my forehead.

(News/Noticias: Almunecar, Costa Tropical, Granada, Andalucia)