Thursday 9th
10.00h: Distress-rocket salvo awakening.
11.00h: Sand castle competition on Playa Puerta de Mar, lasting until 14.00h. Prizes to be awarded on Friday at 13.00h at the day fair on C/ Pintor Manuel Rivera –P-4. Don’t forget your towel and bathing costume.
20.00h: Giants and Giant Head parade, accompany by the Band of the Municipal School, leaving the municipal market and running the the town’s main streets before ending up in the Town Hall Square.
20:30h: Quasi religious inauguration to the fiesta week, given from the Mayor’s balcony of the Town Hall Square.
21:30h: Official inauguration of the fairground given by the Mayor, who will flick the switch to the fairground lighting, rounded off with a touch of gunpowder lunacy (Mascletá).
21:45h: Fairground attractions kick in and casetas officially opened to the public.
20.00h: Official municipal caseta stages a knees-up to last until you drop or are arrested.
22:30h: For those who prefer something marginally safer, a flamenco evening at the Palacete de la Najara (main Tourist Information Office).
Friday the 10th
10.00h: Another distress-rocket-salvo awakening in the vane hope that somebody actually enjoys this ludicrous sadism.
10.00h: Counter Strike championship (don’t ask me – not a clue), which takes place at the Casa de la Juventud, which is situated where the old Cine Coloseo stood, near Plaza de la Rosa.
11.00h: Giants and Giant Head parade, accompanied by the Band of the Municipal School, leaving the municipal market and running the the town’s main streets before ending up in the calle Manuel Pintor Rivera, which runs alongside the P-4 secondary school and is where the Fería de Día is held.
12.00h: The above mentioned day fair is inaugurated, much to the dismay of local business, who struggled all winter in the hope of a little summer trade, only to see this Feria de Día planted right in front of their businesses, soaking up the already diminished summer trade.
18.00h: Table tennis competition at the the Municipal Stadium – veteran level.
19.00h: 24 hours of 7-a-side football at the Río Verde football ground begins.
20.00h: Grand Prix at the temporary bull ring that has been set up for the duration of the fiestas, between the municipal stadium and the main road; i.e., the lorry park. No idea what it is about – sorry.
20.00h: The Grand Petanca Championships (evening) at the Jardines de Alhucemas.
22.00h: Official municipal caseta stages a knees up to last until you drop or are arrested again.
22:30h: Parallel tradition music even in the Parque Majuelo.
22:30h: In case you don’t fancy either of the two previous events you can watch flamenco at the Palacete de la Najarra.
23.00h: A contest to choose Miss and Mister Almuñécar 2012, the winners of which go forward to the provincial competition of Miss and Mister Granada. Also, the choosing of the kiddies’ King and Queen takes place.
Saturday the 11th
10.00h: As if you couldn’t guess… a distress-rocket salvo awakening.
11.30h: Musical parade, of the electronic, thumping, brain-dead lyrics kind, through the centre of town, just in case you slept through the distress rocket salvos an hour and a half earlier.
12.30h: First round of a flamenco costumes competition, held in the Feria de Día, accompanied by the Dance Academy, Andalucia Baila.
19: 00h: Finals of the 24-hour football competition at the Río Verde football ground.
20.00h: At last – something not to be missed: Freestyle Moto Cross, held in the Municipal Stadium. Amazing lunatics in flight!
21.00h: 24-hour Volley Ball competition begins on Playa Puerta de Mar.
22.00h: Official municipal caseta stages a knees up to last until you drop or with no fear of arrest because the police are sick to death with the sight of you every evening.
22:30h: Flamenco at the Palacete de la Najarra.
Sunday the 12th
10.00h: Because there is no justice in the world… distress-rocket salvo awakening.
11.00h: Another musical parade, of the electronic, thumping, brain-dead lyrics kind, comprising of anybody that wasn’t murdered the day before, leaving from the Town Hall Square.
15.00h: Last round of the flamenco costumes competition with prize giving at the Fería de Día.
19:30h: First bull fight, comprising of six bulls, to be ritually killed by Vitor Janeiro, Jose Antyonio Cejudo (El Güejareño) and Julio Benítez (El Cordobés)
20.00h: Radio-controlled championship at the Municipal Stadium, which, through deduction, includes wheeled and winged devices. If you want to take part, phone Daniel on 667 737 220.
21.00h: Finals of the 24-hour Volley Ball on the Playa Puerta de Mar.
22.00h: Dressed-in-White Night at the municipal fairground – prize for the whitest – blood stains equals disqualification.
22.00h: Official municipal caseta stages a knees up to last until you drop or you manage to arrest a policeman.
22:30h: Flamenco at the Palacete de la Najarra.
Monday the 13th
10.00h: You know full bloody well what happens at 10.00h each morning so don’t ask.
11.00h: Foam party on Playa Puerta del Mar.
19.00h: Special kiddies’ day at the fairground with discounts on all fairground attractions.
19.00h: Feria de Día officially concludes.
19.00h: Cross Country race through the Vega.
20.00h: Taurino event (bull fighting), Andalucia Art of Horse Riding, by a finalist of a popular TV competition, Tu Sí Que Vales. That was about as clear as mud, but that’s what the original Spanish text said – sorry.
22:30h: Concert given on the Paseo del Altillo by Banda del Soplo.
22.00h: a dance troop will make their way through the fairground, followed at 22.30h by the Finals of the Copla competition.
23:00h: Just in case enough arrests haven’t been made the Sharks Motorbike Club will visit the fairground… crew cuts or quiffs are not recommended.
Tuesday the 14th
10.00h: *Gloom!*
11:30h: Electronic music parade for the delight of the deranged and musically handicapped, leaving the Town Hall Square before simultaneously and spontaneously vapourizing, thanks to the overdue intervention of the Hand of Cosmic Justice. It’s a long shot, but I will be keeping my fingers crossed…
12.00h: Kiddies’ handicraft workshops at the Town Hall Square: face painting, balloon bending and custom T-shirt designing.
19:30h: Exhibition of traditional fishing methods on the Playa Puerta de Mar (sounds interesting)
20.00h: floral parade for the Patron Saint, the Virgen de la Antigua, leaving the main church.
20:30h: Kiddies’ party; games and activities.
22:00h: The tried and trusted knees up at the Municipal fairground for masochists and those with a criminal amount of energy and stamina. Excellent chance to arrest yourself, by the way.
22.00h: Concert on the Paseo del Altillo: Gafiera Miuda – no info concerning what time of music they play was given.
Wednesday the 15th
10.00h: Where the bloody hell do they get all these distress rockets from? If somebody is sinking out there, they’ve dipped out because the idiot that fires them off in Almuñécar has used up Spain’s entire stockpile…
11.00h: Yes, you’ve guessed, electronic music to slash your wrists by.
19.00h: Official Mass at the Main Church in honour of the Virgen.
20.00h: Procession begins with the Virgen on high, crossing the town before being taken out to the waiting fishing fleet to bless the boats. Official route, Iglesia De la Encarnación, Puerta de Granada, Carrera de la Concepción, Avd. Costa del Sol, Avd. Europa, Paseo de las Flores. before embarking at 22.30h from Playa San Cristóbal.
Now, we all know that you only visited this article to find out what time the firework display begins – never mind that I just spend one and a half hours translating the bloody programme… so I’m not going to tell you…
…Alright, it’s a midnight, so make sure you’ve got somewhere to view it long before then.
(News/Events: Almunecar, Costa Tropical, Granada, Andalucia)