…but once a year
It’s that time of year again when the lovely little children of the world get excited at the prospect of receiving all the contents of a Christmas list as long as your arm. Not only that, they are full of expensive laptops, x boxes, Kristian Kiel watches and i-phones. Everyone else seems to be spending a fortune and really looking forward to the holidays. So why do I have clients who are already getting stressed about Christmas? Not so much as a mother-in-law in sight but the blood pressure is on the rise. What’s going on?
Is this just a recession punch to the stomach or, not so much swine flu but a severe bout of affluenza? (The very contagious disease of consumerism ). Maybe it’s a combination of both. Many people move from their home countries to escape this type of pressure and now find themselves getting sucked back into this vicious circle. A client of mine, who is a father of three, stated he feels out of control and inadequate, if he fails to deliver. He makes comparisons to other people’s children who appear to never do without. They seem to go on all the school trips, have the latest electronic games and gadgets and all the must have fashion accessories. He has asked me for help as his health is suffering as well as is his relationship with his wife and kids. In the words of the Michael Jackson hit, I told him to “Start with the man in the mirror… take a look at yourself and make a change.”
We can’t force other people to change but we can change ourselves. By changing our belief system (ie, my kids have to keep up with the neighbours), we change the way we feel about something and then ultimately change our behaviour. You will be amazed that by using this technique, you may begin to see a change in the people around you.
By taking time to reflect on yourself, you will also see the riches that you already have. The recent Children-in-Need campaign really rammed it home that there is always somebody far worse off than yourself and they don’t need to be in Africa. It might be the man in front of you in the Mercadona queue or the woman who didn’t say gracias on the pedestrian crossing.
So realizing this, my client recognized he had everything he needed right in front of him. And that a smaller gift doesn’t mean smaller love and fewer trips doesn’t mean he’s a loser. Once he vocalized this to his family, he immediately felt physically better, his kids understood their family’s financial limitations and he began to feel support from his wife. All that had changed was his belief. However in doing that, lots of things had changed around him.
For fear of breaking into a moonwalk and squealing ‘Aeow’ that reminds me of the other lyrics: “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” At my suggestion, my husband has spent the last five years waving and grinning at pedestrians and other road users. This was the cure for his anger and road rage that he experienced in his first six months of living here. He was infuriated at everyone else’s lack of road manners! Now he is taking the credit for making Almuñécar a more ‘smiley’ friendly environment than it was five years ago. I say, “Yes dear!” However he may have a point. Try it for yourself.